Merry Christmas Everyone!!

Since we can't be with all of you for Christmas, we decided to take our break and go to Thailand to live on a boat and scuba dive all day for 12 days straight!! I think it works out to about 45 dives. We'll be departing from the island of Phuket (careful how you pronounce that).

We'll be sure to post lots of stories and pictures when we get back. For now, here is as much as we know:
http://www.sunrisediving.net/index.php?option=com_gallery2&Itemid=57&Itemid=44

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!
-Brad & Elizabeth

My Form of Racism

I’ve noticed something about myself since being in India that has come as a complete surprise. I’ve spent my whole life thinking that I’m colorblind when it comes to skin. I’ve had friends of all races throughout my life, even marrying a Pakistani. So when I found myself saying to a white man the other day, “I was so excited to tell my husband that there was another white person at work!” I was shocked and appalled at my own behavior.

The towns that grew up in, Oakland New Jersey and New Fairfield Connecticut, are rather homogeneous. There was always the requisite black kid, maybe a few Indians, possibly a Korean or Japanese kid. But for the most part, we were white. I then moved to New York to become a world famous actress (see how well I’m doing!), where the diversity both in my school and in my life, increased dramatically. Working at JPMorgan, it seemed I was at a model UN, with all nations represented.

Spending my whole life within two hours of New York City, I was always aware that foreigners stuck together. How could I not be? Chinatown, Little Italy, the Indian section of Jackson Heights, Spanish Harlem. There’s even a block in Manhattan (Lexington Avenue between 27th and 28th) that is predominantly Pakistani. Then there are the parades: Cuban Day, Columbus Day, St. Patty’s Day. Anyone who requests it seems to be given the right to march down 5th Avenue with their country’s flag streaming through the air, even if they weren’t born in that other country. It always seemed a little weird to me that people would trek halfway around the world to remain within their own group of people. I was always naïve enough to think that the melting pot of the US was not meant to be a theory, but a matter of practice. We should melt into one people. That’s what was great about the US.

I rarely see white people in India. I’ve seen a total of two other people driving here, not counting Brad. When we go to the mall, there are at least a dozen white people, which I always find comforting. I inevitably make eye contact with someone and we share a moment that I’ve never experienced before living here. That moment of understanding precisely what it means to be a white face in this sea of brown.

I still don’t think I’m a racist. I have nothing against Indians, nor any other race. But I now understand why, when individuals make the great leap of faith that is leaving your comfort zone to relocate to the US, immigrants have the tendency to stick together. It is safe. There are no possibilities for foibles that occur so often when you’re talking to someone who is from your host culture. That other white face, when I see it, is one of the few people in the world who knows what it means to be an outsider in this culture. And the knowledge that there is someone out there who gets it, who knows what I’m going through, offers me more comfort that I thought possible from a complete stranger.

While I am going to do my best to try not to think of my world here in racial terms, I’m glad at least that I’m aware of my new tendency to categorize people based on race. It’s apparently so easy to slip into a mindset where you can justify thinking of people based on their race. I hope that in my case, it remains a superficial task rather than a justification to judge and oppress people. And when I do move back to the US, I'll try to be that native face who is friendly and open to the people who have chosen to live within our culture. Because I can say for certain that it is one of the scariest things that person will ever do.

A Great Gift

Yesterday was my birthday and it was lovely so see and hear the messages I got today. One of them, however, stood out. My friend Kristin and her husband Andy are in Disney (the Florida one) and they sent me the best picture. I had to share.

And speaking of my birthday, on November 11, 2011, I'm turning 33. That's right, my 33th is on 11/11/11. Being a girl who loves mathematical puzzles and quirks, I've decided that I have to have a party to celebrate. Seriously, how many people can celebrate their birthday on the day that the digits of the month, day and year of their birthday add up to the number of years they've been alive. So great. Therefore, I request that you all put it on your calendars now and start saving up. I don't know where it will be, but I do know that I want everyone to come. And it's on a Friday, so NO EXCUSES!

And now, the wonder that is Kwib.

When can I see you again???

Well, we’ve now been here for 6 and 4 months respectively. We’re getting the lay of the land and finding how, precisely, we fit into this society. So here’s my question for you. When are you coming to visit us? There were some suggestions, before we left, that some of you may come in January or February. If you are thinking of coming soon, let us know so that we can make sure that we’re available to show you India. And please, if you are coming, let us know where you’d like to go and what you’d like to do in South India so we can make arrangements. Travel is so easy on the train and we have a car, so the sky’s the limit!

National Friendship Week

When I opened my inbox this evening, there was an e-mailing waiting to be read from Miss Penelope. It's a lovely little story about friendship, with instructions to forward it to everyone who you consider a friend. I thought I'd one up that and just post it here. The story is sappy and sentimental, but you'll just have to deal with it! If you're reading this blog, YOU'RE MY FRIEND!! WHEEE!!

One day, when I was a freshman in high school, I saw a kid from my class was walking home from school. His name was Kyle. It looked like he was carrying all of his books. I thought to myself, "Why would anyone bring home all his books on a Friday? He must really be a nerd."

I had quite a weekend planned (parties and a football game with my friends tomorrow afternoon), so I shrugged my shoulders and went on. As I was walking, I saw a bunch of kids running toward him. They ran at him, knocking all his books out of his arms and tripping him so he landed in the dirt. His glasses went flying, and I saw them land in the grass about ten feet from him. He looked up and I saw this terrible sadness in his eyes. My heart went out to him. So, I jogged over to him and as he crawled around looking for his glasses, and I saw a tear in his eye.
As I handed him his glasses, I said, "Those guys are jerks. They really should get lives. “
He looked at me and said, "Hey thanks!" There was a big smile on his face. It was one of those smiles that showed real gratitude.

I helped him pick up his books, and asked him where he lived. As it turned out, he lived near me, so I asked him why I had never seen him before. He said he had gone to private school before now. I would have never hung out with a private school kid before. We talked all the he way home, and I carried some of his books. He turned out to be a pretty cool kid.

I asked him if he wanted to play a little football with my friends. He said yes. We hung out all weekend and the more I got to know Kyle, the more I liked him, and my friends thought the same of him.

Monday morning came, and there was Kyle with the huge stack of books again. I stopped him and said, "Boy, you are gonna really build some serious muscles with this pile of books everyday!" He just laughed and handed me half the books.

Over the next four years, Kyle and I became best friends. When we were seniors, we began to think about college. Kyle decided on Georgetown, and I was going to Duke. I knew that we would always be friends, that the miles would never be a problem. He was going to be a doctor, and I was going for business on a football scholarship.
Kyle was valedictorian of our class. I teased him all the time about being a nerd. He had to prepare a speech for graduation. I was so glad it wasn't me having to get up there and speak. Graduation day, I saw Kyle. He looked great. He was one of those guys that really found himself during high school. He filled out and actually looked good in glasses. He had more dates than I had and all the girls loved him. Boy, sometimes I was jealous. Today was one of those days.

I could see that he was nervous about his speech. So, I smacked him on the back and said, "Hey, big guy, you'll be great!"

He looked at me with one of those looks (the really grateful one) and smiled. "Thanks," he said.

As he started his speech, he cleared his throat, and began "Graduation is a time to thank those who helped you make it through those tough years. Your parents, your teachers, your siblings, maybe a coach...but mostly your friends...I am here to tell all of you that being a friend to someone is the best gift you can give them. I am going to tell you a story."

I just looked at my friend with disbelief as he told the story of the first ay we met. He had planned to kill himself over the weekend. He talked of how he had cleaned out his locker so his Mom wouldn't have to do it later and was carrying his stuff home.

He looked hard at me and gave me a little smile. "Thankfully, I was saved.” I heard the gasp go through the crowd as this handsome, popular boy told us all about his weakest moment. I saw his Mom and dad looking at me and smiling that same grateful smile. Not until that moment did I realize it's depth.

Never underestimate the power of your actions. With one small gesture you can change a person's life.

I told you it was cheezy...